"Hold Your Head Up"

Hold Your Head Up by Agent

And if it's bad
Don't let it get you down, you can take it
And if it hurts
Don't let them see you cry, you can take it

Hold your head up, hold your head up
Hold your head up, hold your head high

And if they stare
Just let them burn their eyes on you moving
And if they shout
Don't let them change a thing what you're doing

Hold your head up, hold your head up
Hold your head up, hold your head high

So this year I've decided to stand up for myself a bit more. I'm normally the type of person that will say yes to anything work related. I'm a push-over. I'll serve on more committees, I'll take the extra student, Sure I'll take the student no one else wants. Well I'm finally going to try and actually stand up for myself.

It's going to be hard. Especially in my school setting. For those of you that don't really know where I work, here's a short synopsis.

I work on a residential treatment facility for kids K-12 that have emotional, mental and psychological problems. These used to be the kids that were sent away to hospitals, facilities and even jail. Most of our kids have severe aggression issues. We are trained yearly on proper hold techniques. If you work in schools, think about the Behavior Classroom. Now times that by 20. That's what I work with on a daily basis. I really do love my job. It's stressful and I often break down (granted this is at home and not where my kids can see me!) I'm verbally and physically assulted often. But I know what I'm doing will make a difference. These kids don't have stable families, they don't come to school with name brand shoes. It's normally clothes from the Center's attic, with their initials black inked on. Not many people will stand up for these kids and actually think they can make it in everyday society. I think every teacher should spend a day in a setting like this, so that they can appreciate what they have so much more and start to make a difference in their student's lives.

I should also mention that my classroom is the one where the "bad" kids are placed. I tend to get the more difficult kids, and I welcome that challenge with open arms. I learn something daily from this and am very thankful that I can.

So now that you have an idea of my school, I'll let you know about our staff. We only have 6 classrooms, which means 6 teachers. A very small setting. And it is amazing that all of our teachers want what is best for their kids. However we have some that are so stubborn in their ways that they always get what they want. This is where I get put into a really awkward position. Again, 6 teachers, we all have a cap of 10 students. 4 male teachers and 2 women (Different I know, but I think it coincides with our setting. You will never see a preppy, prissy teacher here!)So I'm already at 9 kids. The two classes with younger kids are holding steady at 5 and 6. The upper middle school class has 6 kids and the H.S. class has 3. Yes, you heard me, 3. So based on that, do the numbers look right? I'll start by saying that we do try and keep kids together based on grade levels. However in the past two years, I have had a range of 4th through 12th graders in my class at 1 time. Now that is the deal with Special Ed. You differentiate, you scaffold. You learn to teach everyone. But right now I feel as if we have certain teachers that could care less about what is fair and right. They think they should get to pick and choose what kids are in their classroom. I'm tired of it. When one of my 9 kids because aggressive int he classroom, throwing things, cussing, hitting, it sets off all 8 of my other kids. I want what's best for my students and cramming them all into one room isn't working (Oh, it might be a good idea to mention that I have the smallest classroom on campus!) I want other teachers to start standing up as well and saying "something doesn't look right here."

I know this is turning into more of rant than an explanation of my feelings. I apologize for that. But Hell isn't that what Blogs are for?

Okay I'm done for now. I'm not even going to read over what I've written. So if you find a mistake, well done! :)